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بسم الله الرحمٰن الرحيم

الجواب حامداً ومصلياً

As-salāmu ʿalaykum wa-raḥmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Dear brother,

Your question clearly shows the love you have for Allāh ﷻ and the concern you have for your dīn. May Allāh ﷻ reward your sincerity and grant you His proximity.

It is important to keep in mind that while bad sins have their own effects, they do not wipe out good deeds. A person’s good deeds are deposited with Allāh ﷻ and will benefit them on the day of judgment.

Allāh comforts us by promising:

أَنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُضِيعُ أَجْرَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ (سورة آل عمران: ١٧١)

“Verily, Allāh does not allow the reward of the believers to go to waste.” (3:171)

The fact that you are committing bad deeds will not invalidate the good deeds you are doing. You must stay remain steadfast in your good deeds, and do not lose hope. In reality, the anguish you are feeling from struggling to avoid watching these bad things and then falling into them will also be a means of your sins being forgiven – provided you do not give up. Continuing to struggle is a sign of your love for Allāh ﷻ. A poet says:

جو نا کام ہوتا رہے عمر بھر بھی

بہر حال پھر بھی  کوشش تو  عاشق  نہ چوڑے

یہ رشتیں محبت کی قائم ہی رہے

جو سو بار ٹوٹے تو سو بار جوڑے

“Though one may remain unsuccessful throughout his entire life, a true lover must never abandon his efforts. The bonds of love (of Allāh) must be maintained at all costs. If they are broken 100 times, they should be joined 100 times.”

Shayṭān knows full well how all of a person’s sins can be wiped out in one moment with sincere tawbah (repentance). Even then, he does not abandon his efforts in making inviting to sin. A person makes tawbah and is forgiven, and Shayṭān attacks again. A Muslim may be bad, but they are never as bad as Shayṭān. If he does not give up, how can a Muslim?

Solutions

There are two major causes of the sin you have described:

1. Not controlling the gaze
2. Addiction

Controlling the Gaze
Rasūlullāh ﷺ advised[1] that youth who have the ability to get married should do so. This is the most effective way to protect one’s gaze and chastity.

• Make efforts to prepare yourself for marriage. Study hard and have realistic goals and plans for your future. This commitment will show potential spouses and their parents that you are ready for the responsibilities of marriage.
• If you are not currently able to marry, Rasūlullāh ﷺ strongly encouraged fasting abundantly as a means of shielding one from their desires. However, along with fasting, one must make an effort to reduce eating overall – both in suḥūr/ifṭār and on non-fasting days.[2]
• Important Note: One should think long and hard before getting married if they have not gotten the problem of watching pornography under control. At the very least, practical steps must be taken to address this issue. Inshāʾ Allāh, this point will be addressed in the second section – addiction.

Another effective step in controlling the gaze is to ponder upon the great reward in store for the one who is able to do this, especially in times as challenging as this. Rasūlullāh ﷺ informed us that the reward for the Muslim who sees a beautiful woman but then lowers their gaze is to taste the sweetness of īmān![3] Ponder upon this:

• If you make a mistake and are not able to control yourself, seek Allāh’s forgiveness. Verily Allāh loves those who seek forgiveness.[4]
• If you are able to control your gaze, you will taste the sweetness of īmān.

In both situations, you will succeed – as long as you do not lose hope. View this challenge as an opportunity to taste the sweetness of īmān and become the beloved of Allāh.
One of the great luminaries of our generation[5] commented that in the past, one would go to the market to buy goods. Now, one goes to the markets an acquires the sweetness of īmān!

Addiction
When a person begins to watch pornography, their brain undergoes chemical changes and eventually becomes dependent on watching it to satisfy its urges. This is the same as any other addiction. Addictions are difficult to overcome. Not everyone can stop them cold turkey. It is necessary to keep in mind that:

• Seeking help is nothing to be ashamed of.
• A person may slip up (“fall off the wagon”) after having been in control for a long time.

To help combat this addiction, certain measures can be taken:

• Patience and perseverance: It is not easy to break any addiction, and there will be times when extreme discomfort is felt.
• Keeping internet enabled devices outside of the room, particularly at night time or other vulnerable times.
  • If you live with someone you trust – parents, older siblings, roommates – give them your device at night.
• Open up to someone and have them be an accountability partner. There are some softwares that send reports to people you have assigned when you go inappropriate websites.
• There are some courses, both in person and online, some secular and some religious-based, that can help overcome this addiction. They should be availed, and no one should feel ashamed in using these methods.

Along with the above approaches, fervent duʿā and a refusal to give up are essential.

Summary

1. Your good deeds do not go to waste.
2. Control your gaze.
3. Follow some of the methods listed under “Addiction.”
4. Abundant duʿā
5. Perseverance and refusal to stop trying to leave the sin, even if you slip repeatedly.

May Allāh ﷻ allow you to overcome this challenge and all other challenges in your life. May He give you success in this world and the next, and may He bestow His special love and favors upon you.

والله تعالى أعلم وعلمه أتم وبه التوفيق
And Allāh Taʿālā Knows Best

Muftī Mohammed Wahaajuddin bin Salauddin
(May Allāh forgive him and his parents)
—

[1] مرقاة المفاتيح، كتاب النكاح، ج٧، دار الكتب العلمية، الطبعة الرابعة
عن عبد الله بن مسعود رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسول الله ﷺ يا معشر الشباب من استطاع منكم الباءة فليتزوج، فإنه أغض للبصر وأحصن للفرج، ومن لم يستطع فعليه بالصوم، فإنه له وجاء . متفق عليه.قال الملا علي القاري: (فإنه) أي: الصوم (له) أي: لمن قدر على الجماع ولم يقدر على التزوج لفقره (وجاء) بالكسر بالمد أي: كسر لشهوته، وهو في الأصل رض الخصيتين ودقهما لتضعف الفحولة، فالمعنى أن الصوم يقطع الشهوة ويدفع شر المني كالوجاء. قال الطيبي – رحمه الله تعالى -: وكان الظاهر أن يقول: فعليه بالجوع، وقلة ما يزيد في الشهوة وطغيان الماء من الطعام، فعدل إلى الصوم إذ ما جاء بمعنى عبادة هي برأسها مطلوبة، وليؤذن بأن المطلوب من نفس الصوم الجوع وكسر الشهوة، وكم من صائم يمتلئ معى اه. ويحتمل أن يكون الصوم فيه هذا السر والنفع لهذا المرض، ولو أكل وشرب كثيرا إذا كانت له نية صحيحة، ولأن الجوع في بعض الأوقات والشبع في بعضها ليس كالشبع المستمر في تقوية الجماع، والله تعالى أعلم. (ص٢٢٨)

[2] حوالة سابقة

[3] مرقاة المفاتيح، كتاب النكاح، ج٧، دار الكتب العلمية، الطبعة الرابعة
وعن أبي أمامة عن النبي ﷺ قال: ما من مسلم ينظر إلى محاسن امرأة أول مرة ثم يغض بصره إلا أحدث الله له عبادة يجد حلاوتها. رواه أحمد. قال الملا علي القاري: ولا نمو في الإنسان أكمل وأفضل أن يفتح الله عليه باب ما خلق لأجله من العبادة، وكمالها أن يجد العابد حلاوتها ويزول عنه تعب الطاعة وتكاليفها الشاقة عميمة وهذا المقام هو الذي أشار إليه صلوات الله عليه وسلامه بقوله: وقرة عيني في الصلاة، وأرحنا يا بلال (ص٢٦٤)
وعن بريدة قال: قال رسول الله ﷺ لعلي: يا علي لا تتبع النظرة النظرة فإن لك الأولى وليست لك الآخرة . رواه أحمد، والترمذي، وأبو داود، والدارم. قال الملا علي القاري: (وليست لك الآخرة) أي النظرة الآخرة لأنها باختيارك فتكون عليك، قال الطيبي رحمه الله: دل على أن الأولى نافعة كما أن الثانية ضارة لأن الناظر إذا أمسك عنان نظره ولم يتبع الثانية أجر (ص٢٥٧)

[4] إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَيُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ ‎ (سورة البقرة: ٢٢٢)

[5] حضرت مولانا حكيم أختر صاحب نور الله مرقده