Half the deen

بسم الله الرحمٰن الرحيم

الجواب حامداً ومصلياً

As-salāmu ʿalaykum wa-raḥmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Imām Bayhaqī narrates a ḥadīth in his book Shuʿab al-Īmān that Anas رضي الله عنه reports that Rasūlullāh ﷺ said, “When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allāh regarding the remaining half.”[1]

Marriage was described as half of religion in order to emphasize its importance and urge people to marry.[2] Imām Ghazali (رحمه الله) has explained that there are two things that commonly lead a person to sin: lust and the stomach (seeking a livelihood to support oneself). When a person gets married, it is hoped that they will guard their gaze and chastity, thereby addressing one of the two causes of sin.[3]

Each of the issues that you mentioned are important and must be addressed individually. At the same time, they do not literally nullify half of a person’s dīn. This ḥadīth is regarding modesty and chastity. These things are so important that Rasūlullāh ﷺ declared modesty to be a branch of faith.[4] Even if a couple does not perform ʿibādah together or have the happiest of marriages, just by remaining chaste, a great part of one’s faith is fulfilled. If one spouse succumbs to sins of lust, the other spouse is not sinful. Each person is accountable for their own deeds.[5] A husband will not be punished for the sins of their wife, nor will a wife be punished for the sins of their husband, provided they counseled their spouse to do good.

With that being said, we move on to the issues that you mentioned.

In order to have a healthy marriage, there must be mutual love and respect between the spouses. This is one of the defining features of marriage. Allāh ﷻ explains to us the goal and desired outcome of a healthy marriage:

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ (سورة الروم، آية ٢١)

“Of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquility: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect.” (Sūrah Rūm, Āyah 21)

In this āyah, we are informed that love, mercy, and tranquility in marriage are signs of Allāh.

هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ (البقرة:١٨٧)

“They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them.” (2:187)

This āyah indicates that there is great physical and emotional attachment between spouses. A garment covers the body and enshrouds it. There is no barrier between the body and its garment. At the same time, a beautiful garment has an emotional effect as well. The wearer is given confidence, confidence, and happiness through their clothing. An ideal marriage will be one where the spouses are physically and emotionally happy with one another.

Collective Worship

Rasūllāh ﷺ made duʿāʾ that Allāh have mercy on the spouses who wake one another up for tahajjud.[6] Doing collective acts of worship would be a means of fulfilling Allāh’s order to assist one another in good.[7] InshāʾAllāh, reminders and encouragement to one’s spouse, along with taking the initiative at times will help.

Guarding the Gaze

This is a complex issue that has been discussed in the following answers. In the second link includes contact information of a colleague who specializes in counseling on this issue. Feel free to reach out to him for further assistance on this matter:

Video | Tawheed Center – Farmington Hills

Masturbation Addiction | Tawheed Center – Farmington Hills

May Allāh give you happiness in your marriage and allow you to overcome whatever challenges there may be.

والله تعالى أعلم وعلمه أتم وبه التوفيق
And Allāh Taʿālā Knows Best

Muftī Mohammed Wahaajuddin bin Salauddin
(May Allāh forgive him and his parents)
—

[1]

مرقاة المفاتيح شرح مشكاة المصابيح، كتاب النكاح، الفصل الثالث، ج٦ ص٢٤٩-٢٥٠، دار الكتب العلمية، الطبعة الرابعة

وعن أنس رضي الله عنه  قال: قال رسول الله ﷺ: إذا تزوج العبد فقد استكمل نصف الدين، فليتق الله في النصف الباقي.

[2]

مرقاة المفاتيح شرح مشكاة المصابيح، كتاب النكاح، الفصل الثالث، ج٦ ص٢٤٩-٢٥٠، دار الكتب العلمية، الطبعة الرابعة

قوله ( «فليتق الله في النصف الباقي» ) أي: في بقية أمور دينه، وجعل التزوج نصفا مبالغة للحث عليه

[3]

مرقاة المفاتيح شرح مشكاة المصابيح، كتاب النكاح، الفصل الثالث، ج٦ ص٢٤٩-٢٥٠، دار الكتب العلمية، الطبعة الرابعة

وقال الغزالي: الغالب في إفساد الدين الفرج والبطن – وقد كفى بالتزوج أحدهما، ولأن في التزوج التحصن عن الشيطان، وكسر التوقان، ودفع غوائل الشهوة، وغض البصر، وحفظ الفرج

[4]

صحيح مسلم، باب بَيَانِ عَدَدِ شُعَبِ الْإِيمَانِ وَأَفْضَلِهَا وَأَدْنَاهَا وَفَضِيلَةِ الْحَيَاءِ وَكَوْنِهِ مِنْ الْإِيمَانِ، #35a

عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ: الإِيمَانُ بِضْعٌ وَسَبْعُونَ شُعْبَةً وَالْحَيَاءُ شُعْبَةٌ مِنَ الإِيمَانِ

[5]

قال الله تعالى: وَلَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ وِزْرَ أُخْرَىٰ

“No one will bear the burden of another.” (6:146; 17:15; 35:18; 39:7)

[6]

مرقاة المفاتيح، كتاب الصلاة، ج٣ ص٩٢٨، دار الفكر

(وعن أبي هريرة قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: ” رحم الله رجلا قام من الليل “) ، أي: بعضه (” فصلى “) ، أي: التهجد ولو كان عليه القضاء فهو أولى بالأداء (” وأيقظ امرأته “) : بالتنبيه أو الموعظة وفي معناها محارمه (” فصلت “) : ما كتب الله لها ولو ركعتين (” فإن أبت “) ، أي: امتنعت لغلبة النوم وكثرة الكسل (” نضح “) ، أي: رش (” في وجهها الماء “) : والمراد التلطف معها والسعي في قيامها لطاعة ربها مهما أمكن، قال تعالى: {وتعاونوا على البر والتقوى} [المائدة: ٢] وقال ابن الملك: وهذا يدل على أن إكراه أحد على الخير يجوز، بل يستحب. (” رحم الله امرأة قامت من الليل “) ، أي: وفقت بالسبق (” فصلت وأيقظت زوجها “) : والواو لمطلق الجمع، وفي الترتيب الذكري إشارة لطيفة لا تخفى (” فصلى “) ، أي: بسببها (” فإن أبى نضحت في وجهه الماء “) : وفيه بيان حسن المعاشرة وكمال الملاطفة والموافقة. (رواه أبو داود والنسائي) : قال ميرك: ورواه ابن ماجه أيضا، وابن خزيمة وابن حبان في صحيحيهما، والحاكم، وقال: على شرط مسلم

[7] قال الله تعالى: {وتعاونوا على البر والتقوى} [المائدة: ٢]

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