QuestionsCategory: Halal/HaramChild support
Muslimah asked 2 years ago
Assalamualekum wrwb may this email reach you in ever increasing state of imaan and health. Please guide me and assist me in answering these questions. I am a single mom of a two year old boy. I only lived with my ex for close to 2 months. I came back to my parents house. My ex divorced me shortly after our son's birth. I got the sole custody of him from the court. The court had fixed an amount for my ex to pay for our son's monthly expenses. ($305 every month) he paid for only for 2 months and has stopped ever since past 2 years. Blaming me and accusing me for all the wrong doings,  that I am just after money and what not , abusing me and my family members. my parents health got so much effected by this. there is an option of FRO where when you file it , this office gets the money out of the bank account)salary forcefully  and gives it to the mother for the kids.  Is this Islamically right to forcefully get the money out in this way? The fact that he is not paying child support will he be accountable in our Deen? My family keeps forcing me to file for this saying that since he didn't support me during my entire pregnancy and post birth ( breastfeeding) saying that it's my child's right that I get the money for him. And not to let him go off easy. I am terrified of my ex , I am scared that filing this will cause him to get more upset and he will start something more against me. I am done with all the verbal abuse and false accusations.  Please guide me what do I do in this situation? Alhamdulillah since I live in Canada, I get the child benefits close $670 every month for my son. My ex says that " you are already getting money through child benefits" does that mean he doesn't need to pay? The fact that he is not paying child support will he be accountable in our Deen? Also if I get married again, will my husband be responsible for my son's upbringing/ expenses despite the fact he is not his biological son?  If I were to have daughters from the marriage will my son be mehram for my daughters? Please also guide me in regards to what are some of points I should  perhaps write in the nikkah contract? Jazakallah khair kaseera.
1 Answers
Mufti Wahaaj answered 2 years ago

بسم الله الرحمٰن الرحيم الجواب حامداً ومصلياً

As-salāmu ʿalaykum wa-raḥmatullāhi wa-barakātuh. I sincerely apologize for the delay in responding to you. Your situation has several parts. They are:
  1. Is a father responsible for paying child support?
  2. Is it permissible to forcibly take child support payments by using FRO?
  3. If you get married again, will your new husband be responsible for you’re the upbringing/expenses of your son from your previous marriage?
  4. Will half sisters (daughters from another father) be maḥram to your son?
  5. Points to write in a future nikāḥ contract.
Answers Disclaimer: The answers given are based on the information provided in the question.
  1. In Islām, it is the father’s responsibility to take care of all of his children’s expenses, regardless of whether they live with him or not.[1]
Allāh informs us:

وعلى المولود له رزقهن وكسوتهن بالمعروف [البقرة: ٢٣٣]

“Clothing and maintenance must be borne by the father in a fair manner.” (2:233)[2]

  1. In principle, Muslims should try to resolve amongst one another in an amicable manner without getting courts/government involved. However, when one is being oppressed and there is no other viable option to obtain one’s right, the courts/government agencies can be used.[3]
  2. In the case described, it is your child’s right to receive financial support from his father. If, despite attempts being made to obtain this support, he still refuses, it will be permissible to obtain the child support payments using FRO.
  3. If you get remarried, your ex-husband remains responsible for his son’s expenses. If your new husband contributes, it is kindness on his part, and he will be rewarded for it. However, he is not obligated to do so.[4]
  4. If you give birth to daughters, they will be maḥram to your son.[5]
  5. This depends on your specific situation. I advise you to seek the advice of scholars in your local community.
Inshā Allāh, good will come of your situation. Do not worry, and remember:

وَمَن يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَل لَّهُ مَخْرَجًا. وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ ۚ وَمَن يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ (سورة الطلاق: ٣-٤)

“Allāh will find a way out for those who are fear Him, and will provide for them from an unexpected source; Allāh will be enough for those who put their trust in Him.” (Sūrah Ṭalāq, Āyahs  3-4)

May Allāh reward your patience, ease your difficulties, and give you barakah in all your endeavors. May He make your son a pious, healthy, and happy, and may He allow you to get remarried with ease. May Allāh accept your Ramaḍān. والله تعالى أعلم وعلمه أتم وبه التوفيق And Allāh Taʿālā Knows Best Muftī Mohammed Wahaajuddin bin Salauddin (May Allāh forgive him and his parents) --

[1] الفتاوى الهندية، كتاب الطلاق، الفصل الرابع في نفقة الأولاد، ج١ ص٥٦٠، مطبعة الكبرى نفقة الأولاد الصغار على الأب لا يشاركه فيها أحد.

كتاب المسائل، ج٥ ص٤٨٠، المركز العلمي للنشر والتحقيق مرادآباد چھوٹے نادار بچوں کے تمام اخراجات (نان نفقہ، کپڑے، رہاڑش، دوا علاج وغیرہ) بلا شرکت غیر باپ کے ذمہ ہیں

[2] الاختيار، كتاب الطلاق، باب النفقة، فصل: نفقة الأولاد الصغار، ج٢، ص١، مكتبة العمرية قال: (ونفقة الأولاد الصغار على الأب إذا كانوا فقراء) لقوله تعالى: {وعلى المولود له رزقهن وكسوتهن بالمعروف} [البقرة: ٢٣٣]

كتاب المسائل، ج٥ ص٤٨٠، المركز العلمي للنشر والتحقيق مرادآباد اس میں  المولود له سے باپ مراد ہے۔ [3] كتاب النوازل، ج١٢ ص٥٩-٦٠، دار الاشاعت آپسی نزاعات مل بیٹھ کر شریعت کی روشنی میں حل کرلینے چاہئیں، غیر مسلم افسران اور عدالت تک نزاعی معاملات کو لینے جانے میں دینی اور دنیوی ہر طرح کا نقصان ہے؛ تاہم مجبوری میں اپنے حق کی وصولی کے لئے انتظامیہ کا سہارا لینا بھی درست ہے۔ سوال:- کیا فرماتے ہیں علماء دین ومفتیانِ شرع متین مسئلہ ذیل کے بارے میں کہ: کیا مسلمان کو اپنے جھگڑے کسی غیرمسلم سے حل کرانا چاہئے (جیسے کہ کچہری وعدالت وغیرہ)؟ باسمہٖ سبحانہ تعالیٰ الجواب وباللّٰہ التوفیق: مسلمانوں کو اپنے معاملات شریعت کے دائرے ہی میں حل کرنے چاہئیں؛ لیکن اگر کسی جگہ ظلم سے بچنے اور اپنا حق اُصول کرنے کے لئے کچہری اور عدالت کے ذریعہ کارروائی کرائے بغیر چارہ نہ ہو تو اِس کی بھی اِجازت ہے۔ (امداد الفتاویٰ ۳؍۴۲۷) فقط واللہ تعالیٰ اعلم

[4] مر في الحوالة ١

[5] قال الله تعالى: {حُرِّمَتْ عَلَيْكُمْ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُمْ الآية} (سورة النساء:٢٣)

الفتاوى الهندية، كتاب النكاح، الباب الثالث في بيان المحرمات، ج١ ص٢٧٣، مطبعة الكبرى وأما الأخوات فالأخت لأب وأم والأخت لأم وكذا بنات الأخ والأخت وإن سفلن